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Decided to quit but not quite sure where to start? Maybe you are looking for some extra strategies to stay away from gambling. This section will give you some of the tools for quitting.
Wanting to stop
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Deciding to stop doing something you enjoy can be challenging, there may be times when it feels impossible but remember lots of people have quit gambling and we can help you.
Do your best to stay away from gambling, the ideal outcome is that you stay away. However if you do revert to gambling don’t get down on yourself. You can always get back on track and use the experience to learn how to stop next time.
It is helpful to know lapses are normal and can happen at any time when you are trying to quit.
When lapses occur, becoming aware of the triggers that lead you to gamble can help you manage urges more effectively in future situations.
To give yourself the best chance of sticking to your new path, try some of our strategies for change.
The urge to gamble
As with quitting smoking, people who stop gambling experience urges to gamble. Urges are an inevitable part of stopping gambling and a natural part of the process of regaining control.
Every time you overcome an urge, you are gaining more and more control.
While you can restrict your exposure to gambling triggers, you will not be able to avoid them completely, which is why it is important to learn ways of managing the urges.
Below are a few different strategies you can try:
Delaying the decision
Delaying the decision to gamble allows time for the urge to pass and for you to feel more in control of the decision. This is different to urge surfing as the focus is on the person using distraction from the urge to gamble rather than letting it pass without distraction.
Distraction takes the focus temporarily away from the urge and can give you time to rethink your decision to gamble.
Try the following next time you have the urge to gamble:
- Relax and focus on staying calm.
- Take some deep breaths to slow yourself down and refocus on what you can do now.
- Try to distract yourself with an activity to keep calm, such as a shower or a bath. Or you may read a book, cook or watch a TV show to stop thinking about gambling. Find an activity that suits you.
- Say to yourself 'maybe I won't go, I will see how I feel in an hour' and then go and do something else.
Remember you may find the urge returns when you stop the other activity. If this happens, perhaps try the urge surfing technique as above.
Set a goal that you can achieve if you stop gambling or develop a list of reasons why you made the decision. For example:
- I will have more money to put towards a holiday.
- I will be able to hold my head up high.
- My family will be proud.
- I will be able to pay my bills.
- As my savings begin to grow money will have value once again.
Staying quit
Remember urges do not usually last longer than one hour.
DELAY
+
DISTRACT
=
STAYING STOPPED
Once you have decided to delay the decision to gamble, shift your attention to what you might like to do. It might be something you used to do before gambling became a problem or something you've always wanted to try.
Many people find engaging in sport fulfilling; this could be anything that gets you moving. From a daily walk or run to joining a gym or team sport.
When you feel an urge, do something else immediately and keep the following in mind:
- Limit access to money
- Surf the urge
- Distract from the urge
- Seek support from someone you feel you can trust. You don't have to call someone to talk to them about experiencing an urge. You might just want to ring and talk about something completely unrelated to gambling.
Not sure about what activities you can do when dealing with an urge? Maintaining change and our healthy hobbies blog have some useful tips.
The first time you experiencing an urge subside, without gambling, will be a powerful experience.
People who have slowly overcome the urge to gamble say that their thinking becomes clearer and that they are more confident with each urge they conquer, setting them up to beat the next one.
You can learn to manage urges by being aware of an increased desire to gamble, some people say
an urge is like an adrenaline rush. It can be so exciting and difficult to resist.
Learning to cope with urges when they arise is a crucial component to staying quit.
Think of an urge as being like a wave. Urges can start off as nothing, perhaps a gentle ripple out to sea but as they come closer to shore they get bigger and bigger, until they break.
To stay in control, you need to learn to ride that wave into shore rather than get dumped.
If you are trying to surf the urge it’s helpful to remember:
- It is important to stay with the urge until it passes by itself; this may take up to an hour the first time.
- Each time you resist gambling and the urge subsides it loses its power.
- The more you resist, the stronger you can become. If you give into the urge and gamble that urge takes control again, but you can take control of it next time.
It is important to limit your access to any cash when you begin the process of surfing the urge as money makes the urges more difficult to resist.
If you do experience an urge and would like assistance, you can contact an online counsellor for more information and support.
Updated September 04, 2017 16:45:46
I'm a gambling addict. Three years ago, I was convicted of white collar fraud, after I stole over $130,000 from my employer to fuel an insatiable addiction.
My poison of choice was not poker machines, but online gambling.
Racing, the thoroughbreds, the trots, the dogs — I wasn't fussy, so long as I could get a bet on and fuel that addiction.
The bets would range anywhere between $5,000 and $20,000 a day. I would bet until 3:00am, try to sleep for three hours and bet again for another three hours on online racing in the United States.
I always thought the stereotypical gambling addict was a working-class middle-aged man or woman, sitting at their local club, feeding their favourite pokies machine four or five nights a week.
But I rarely ventured into the local TAB.
Betting while the kids were in the bath
At the zenith of my addiction, I was married with two beautiful young children and working as a finance manager at a local council.
When I was with my family, I was physically there — but mentally, I was miles away, thinking about gambling: when I could next bet, where would the money come from, whether I could back a winner.
I thought about gambling 24/7. I placed bets at home, at work, the shops — basically everywhere and anywhere I could get reception on my phone.
I would be walking with the kids and our dog, yet I'd still be trying to place bets. I would even bet and watch the races on the phone while the kids were in the bath.
A knock at the door
I had been thinking about stealing to solve some of my debt problems for months, but I couldn't do it because I knew the consequences would be dire.
Then one evening, I had a visit from two large men with a baseball bat, strongly suggesting it would be in my best interests to repay a sizable debt that was due that week.
They punched me and threatened to use the baseball bat 'next time'.
I was left bruised and battered from their warning. It was a seriously scary moment; I still occasionally have flashbacks and it sends chills through my body.
That night, I made the decision to steal from work. I felt physically sick and fidgety; my mind wouldn't stop racing. I knew it was wrong, but I did it — knowing I could one day get caught.
The first time is without a doubt the hardest — but once you've done it, stealing becomes easier.
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Listen to the program
Earshot meets Leigh, an online gambling addict.
I had nothing to lose. That's how I 'reasoned' it.
However, stealing became another problem to add to my list.
I was constantly worried about being caught. When someone knocked on my office door, when I got a phone call, when my boss called me to a meeting, I was never quite sure.
The fear was slowly killing me, but I couldn't confess, couldn't turn back. I was on a knife-edge with no solution, no way out.
It was a Monday morning when I was finally caught. I was called into the CEO's office and they presented me with the overwhelming evidence.
I was caught red-handed, but I still denied it. I knew my career was over and that jail was not far away.
But at that stage, I had a small sense of relief. No more looking over my back. The lying and deceitfulness could stop.
On the inside
When I was caught and sentenced to jail, the gambling addicts I met in the prison system had similar stories to mine. They were middle-aged, smart, well-educated men from good upbringings, all addicts to racing and not the pokies — certainly not the stereotypical gambling addicts I had imagined.
My addiction cost me everything. I lost my job, all my material possessions including house, car, everything I owned.
But that pales into insignificance to the lost relationships.
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If gambling is affecting your health and you are feeling anxious or depressed, or if gambling is negatively impacting on your relationships, help and support are available.- Call Lifeline on 13 11 14
My marriage disintegrated, I lost access to my children, I don't talk to my family and I'm no longer on speaking terms with most of my friends. I don't blame them.
During my year in jail, I had enough time to reflect on all the damage it had caused and when I was to be released I knew I couldn't go back to that lifestyle.
You get far too much time to reflect in jail. I was constantly thinking about the kids, but I didn't decide to quit gambling because of them. The constant stress and 24/7 of thinking about gambling had destroyed me: physically, emotionally, and financially.
I knew if I didn't stop gambling it would kill me.
Get help before it's too late
I write this not because I find it a cathartic experience, but because I hope that it helps others to seek help before it's too late. Or for family and friends of addicts to intervene and offer support.
For people 'on the edge' or thinking about committing fraud, the solution is simple: get help.
Seek support before you hit rock bottom. The help that suited me the most was from my psychologist, one-on-one extended chats — but for others it may be Gamblers Anonymous.
For the family and friends of addicts: please don't give up on them, it's a horrendous disease and they need all the support you can give.
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Life in 2017 is certainly not perfect, but it's a damn sight better than it has been.
I've got regular access to my children, I'm rebuilding lost relationships, I've found some temporary work — and I haven't had a bet since 2014.
Topics:gambling, internet-culture, family-and-children, fraud-and-corporate-crime, law-crime-and-justice, australia
First posted September 04, 2017 12:14:41